Is it yourself? or was it engraved by others..

This is not new. How many of you are there, thinking of doing something that you really want to do but you were stopped by:

1) your own fear
2) your own mind
3) other people telling you, you can't do it
4) people heckling you that it's dumb of you to do it

I've encountered all of them. I feared so much to do what i'm passionate about is because i have commitments. I mean, WHO DOESN'T? Parents, gf, car, dog, cat and etc...(please fill up the rest if i missed them out). But are you going to let them stop you from what you really want to do? For the first two points, (points 1 and 2 above) these are the obstacles that one will encounter. I put them top 2 because those, are the ones you have to beat first and they are normally the toughest. Many people fear that if they drop what they are doing now, and are afraid that if they did not make it on what they are passionate in, they are stuck in the middle. I don't deny that it may or most likely WILL happen. It has happened to me many many times within this 10 months that i'm self-employed. Some can be even spirit breaking, exhausting and stress.

However, let me stress one thing here. Your mind controls your body and hence controls your actions. If you say that, "i can't do it, it's just insanely difficult and there is no guarantee of making it". By saying that, you have given up almost entirely on your dream/passion. Now, do you see it? Nobody did anything to you. YOU just defeated yourself even before you can even start it. Hence, if you say u can't do it, most likely you are definitely not likely to be able to make it because you already set your mind that you won't be able to make it. In the movie "The Secret", they stressed on being positive is because your mind is the attraction of what you think. So, if you have positive thinking, you will attract positive results and the opposite results for the negative thinking. So, that's battle lost straight up even before starting doing anything. Ask yourself this, is that what you really want? To defeat yourself?

Points 3) and 4) are also very typical. I'm pretty sure that you have someone telling you that "It's tough" or "It's impossible for you" or "you can't make it, you're out of your league". Normally, i'll just show a middle finger to these people but nah, why waste my energy right? :). You see, there is a reason for everything and the reason why people do this, is probably that they themselves have not tried it and heard bad things about it OR they couldn't do it themselves and they want to pull you down to the same level as they are. It's plain simple. Even family members (mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin, ah ma...and etc..) will do the same. They are definitely not excluded in this. If you have read my very first post in this blog, i mentioned my mom was one of the biggest demotivator in what i am currently pursuing. She says it's risky, dangerous and will lose everything and she started bringing out failed cases of some family members, friends and friend's children and etc. I don't deny the dangers are there, but it's just like driving an F1 car. You need to have a special license to drive an F1 car before you can even drive it. If you're just getting a normal car license and you drive an F1 car, most likely than not, you'll probably crash and may cost you your life. Same thing here, it's risky to do business, risky to invest, risky to etc....it's risky, if you DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR ARE DOING. Same thing like the F1 car, your normal driving license teaches you the normal standard cars driving method with the clutch and gear and so on. F1 cars have gears on the steering wheel and it is a much x1000000000 more powerful car than what you get outside. So, if you don't even know where the clutch is for an F1 car, what do you think you will get? That's right...CRASH! So, what i'm trying to say here is, if you do not have education on it, of course you will lose but if you're well equipped with the knowledge and the skills, then risks are eliminated. What more, maybe you can even control it to your liking.

Now, humans are people with full of emotions and one very common emotion one will have is JEALOUSY. They may see you doing something that they like too but they can't do it themselves and they do not like it that you are proceeding with what they like, they start spreading stupid stories on you or maybe on what you're doing. If you get affected by that, you've lost. I've turned all these negative stories on what i'm doing now from other people into fuel for motivation. And boy, was it good. I've been told by one friend that "just stick to tennis and girls". Of course i felt pissed, afterall i'm only human but what i did was i took his words, put it under "fuel-for-motivation" in my mind and boy, it worked out good. It won't be easy but trust me on this, if you are able to do it, you will see super mind bogging results on this. In the movie "The pursuit for happyness" which was acted by Will Smith and his son, there was a part where his son was just playing around with the basket ball near his rented apartment. His son said "i'm going pro dad! i'm going pro!". Will Smith answered his son "well, you know, when i was a kid i was just average in this. So, you'll probably be the same like me. I don't want you to just go around shooting basketball into the net, alright?". His son felt disappointed but agreed reluctantly. Will Smith saw the disappointed face in his son and said "Hey, don't ever let anybody tell you...you can't do something alright? Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period!"

That's exactly it. Never let anybody tell you you can't do it because this is your own dream. You control whether it will make it or not. Not them. Presevere, don't quit, don't give up no matter how beaten down you are in pursuing your passion/dream. You will fall many many many times before you reach there. I know, coz i fell many times and sometimes takes a while to recover.

So, you've got a passion, just go for it. Don't let points 1,2,3 and 4 stop you. But points 1 and 2 are the hardest as it comes from your own goodself. Beat that and then you have to fight points 3 and 4 from the outside but that would be easier compared to points 1 and 2.

You only live once (YOLO). Give yourself a chance and go for it! :)

A General and the presumably losing army

Well, i was told a story by a friend of mine some time back and i feel that i will be using that for my life to be in future...I am not sure about you others but, i believe it goes for everyone too. The story goes..

"In one of the histories of China, there were two sides of armies. One of them was the attacker but with lesser men in it. The other was the defender who had more men, better ground advantage and what's best, they are IN the castle. The attacking side, seeing that they are greatly disadvantaged with a river to cross, high strong walls to break through and men outnumbered but 1:3, were greatly demoralized. Some of them could not even eat nor sleep properly thinking of that disadvantage and soon, it grew into fear that spread around the army like a virus.

The general of the army saw this..and gathered all his men the night before the attack. With all his men lined up in formation and all waiting for the general to speak, mostly quivered and expected the worst. Then the general spoke with a strong clear voice:

"Forget the food that you're holding at your hand, you know that's crap! Forget the tents that you build for you know they are leaking and still makes you cold in the night! Forget the clothes you're wearing, for they will not protect nor keep you warm also!..Tomorrow, we will attack them! And we will win! And we will eat their best food, live in their big castle and also wear their best clothes! Don't fix your mind on what you currently have and use that to live for that will wear down or deplete and you will die a more torturous death than the enemies sword! We will attack them and we will win!"

His armies roared and it was so loud, it kept their enemies shaking even inside the castle..The next morning, they crossed that big river, attacked and they won....

I knew what my friend wanted to tell me right away....

Moral of the story/what my friend meant was:
"forget the thought of what you have, salary (for we all know it's never enough), places we stay (rented rooms, small apartments...sounds familiar?) or clothes/lifestyles that we have now..for we all know that will wear out...do something that you really want and put your head up high for that...even if the odds are greatly against you.."

10 Women A Man Shouldn’t Marry

Now here is something interesting which i came through. 

1. The Late Night Texter
You know, the girl who only texts you after midnight. She’s the girl who only contacts you when she wants something, or someone to talk to. You can go weeks without hearing from this person, only to rarely get a text full of smiley faces and a message that reads, “Hey! How are you?” They aren’t consistent. Don’t fall into the trap.

2. The Gold-digger
She’s the woman who loves your wallet, bank account, and credit cards. Be sure to stay away from a woman who is only interested in material things, and how much of these things your salary can buy her.

3. The Flirt
This woman loves to flirt with strangers, waiters, and even your friends. The woman you should seek is one who flirts with you and only you, no matter the circumstance. That last thing you want is to be married to someone who will deliberately flirt with people in front or you, let alone behind your back.

4. The Liar
Don’t trust a woman who is constantly lying to you. If you continue to ignore her inconsistencies, she could eventually do something detrimental to your relationship.

5. The Flake
This is the woman who calls off dates, constantly changes plans and never shows up when she promised she would. If you think this will change once you’re married, you’re wrong. A flakey woman will never put her man first.

6. The Partier
Stay away from her. Although she may seem as a fun and outgoing, I guarantee you will be better off with someone who stays away from gatherings full of bad mistakes and regretful decisions. The lifestyle of a partier never fits well with the maturity that is needed in marriage.

7. The Quick To Judge
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I would encourage you to stay away from the woman who constantly throws judgments at others. This is a bad habit that is not only frowned upon, but it will also hinder you from finding any type of outside friendships. Let Judge Judy stay a TV show. Don’t marry her.

8. The Immodest Dresser
The last think you want to do is marry someone who put’s their body on display for the rest of the world to see. Without going into too much detail, I would encourage you to marry someone who respects their body enough to keep it covered and modest.

9. The Negative Nancy

She’s the woman who can find something negative in just about anything. And although there is nothing wrong with being a little skeptical, living life with someone who is constantly negative will definitely put a damper on your relationship. It’s not worth it.

10. The Cheater
I’m all for grace and second chances, but the last thing you want is to find yourself in a marriage with someone you can’t even trust. I’m a huge believe that everyone can change, but please don’t get caught up in the lie that cheating is just normal part of life. You deserve better.