Are you dating a PLAYER?

Ok, to be fair and generally, as a guy myself, I utterly hate guys who cheat or who are players. Since, i wrote about "gold-diggers" in my previous post, it's only fair for me to write about players too so that the good, honest, loving and caring women out there don't fall prey to them. So for the ladies this time, this post is for you:

Whenever you meet a new guy who is super smooth, good-looking and flirty, you probably have to wonder to yourself: is he a player? Is this dude going to be seriously interested in having a relationship with you, or is he just looking for someone to fool around with? Is he someone you can trust or should you have your guard up? Is he going to be exclusive with you or does he want to be able to be free and do whatever he wants?

When you have a crush on someone, it can be hard to see them for who they really are, especially if that person is a player. Players are sweet-talkers. They’re a little manipulative and they know how to get a girl to fall hard. They also usually know how to lie like a pro. Dating one kind of, well, sucks. So before you start to fall too hard for this dude, figure out whether or not he’s a player. It may not be the ultimate holy grail but ladies, you're in luck as I am unveiling the secrets of what many guys do not want the ladies to know. Check out these signs that he’s a player:


1) Your Relationship Is All About Hooking Up

This is probably the biggest sign there is that a dude is a player. If he's all about hooking up, that could definitely mean that he's just using you for sex or a steamy makeout sesh. If he never asks you out on a date, test him. The next time he asks if you want to hang out, say, "how about we go see a movie/grab something to eat?" If his response is something like, "I'd rather just hang in here" (and the "here" is at a hotel or somewhere discrete) or there's no response at all, that shows that he just wants to hook up and use you like a sex tool. If a dude really likes you, he'll want to get to know you and he'll want to impress you - meaning he'll want to take you out and "show off". Well, not literally show off but to bring you into his circle of life like meeting u with his buddies, always involve you in on his favourite daily routines and etc..i'm sure you get what i mean.

2) He's ALWAYS Busy

Sure, there are some guys out there who work a lot or have a lot of school stuff going on and they genuinely don't have much free time. But in general, if a guy really likes you, he will make time for you or at least make a serious effort to make time for you. If a dude is all like, "Oh, I'm busy all weekend, how about Tuesday night?" every single week and you know he's not that busy, get rid of him, fast.

3) He Only Texts You At Night


Another tell-tale sign of a player? He's only interested in hanging out at night or at weird times and only for a little while. That's because he either only wants to hook up, have sex and satisfy his desires or he is trying to juggle a few different girls on a tight schedule. Also, if he ONLY hangs with you on Thursdays, that could mean that you're just his Thursday girl... which is lame. Don't go head over heels when he tells you sobbing stories about his wife/girlfriend is giving him a hard time currently and he really likes you (in a hotel room or somewhere discrete). Those words are just making you sink further into the bait! Here's the logic, if he "really likes" you, he won't have a wife/girlfriend at the other end. So basically, that guy is just using you like a doormat that is always "welcoming" him back home, and cleaning off his feet.

4) Girls Are All Over His Facebook

Time for a little bit of Facebook stalking! Check out who this dude is friends with. Does he have over 1500 friends who are all attractive females? Warning! Does he have 85 likes on his latest profile picture? Warning! Are girls falling all over themselves commenting about how cute he is or trying to one-up each other with inside jokes? Yup, you guessed it - warning! If a dude's Facebook is all about other chicks, there's a good chance you're not the only one doing stuff with him.

5) His Phone Is Always Blowing Up

This is similar to the Facebook thing, but this time, no stalking. Don't look at his phone - rude. Instead, pay attention to how often it goes off when you guys are together. If he's talking to other girls, it's not like they're going to avoid texting him when he's with you - because they don't know how to do that, most likely. If he's constantly getting texts he keeps private or phone calls he ignores, it could be a sign that those are other ladies calling him. It's also the same for cheating boyfriends/husbands where they get calls and texts from their "other half" and probably asking them "where are you now honey? coming home for dinner?"

6) He's A Big Sweet-Talker

Players become players for a reason - they're smooth, they know how to flirt and they know how to get a girl to fall for him. Therefore, they're usually big sweet talkers. You know what I'm talking about: they know all the right things to say at all the right times and their compliments make your whole body blush. Don't fall for it, ladies! If he's a sweet-talker but nothing else, that's a bad sign. Having said that, do know the difference when you're with someone who truly loves you and he compliments you on how lovely you are even when you just got out of bed or without any make up or even doesn't bother about you wearing your pajamas out for a cup of tea. For guys who are truly in love with you, really loves you for who you are no matter what beauty flaw you may have. 

7) Other Girls Have Warned You

Have any other girls warned you about him being a player? It's easy to brush off those warnings as mere jealousy or manipulative tactics to try to keep you away from a guy you like, but usually, you should pay attention. If a girl you generally get along with says something like, "watch out for that guy," there's probably a reason. Maybe he played her or her friend or someone she knows. She's probably trying to look out for you and you should probably listen to her. Of course, look into her claims, but don't ignore them completely. So do not go deaf or blind on those closest to you like probably your own sibilings or cousins that you are close with or even your bestie. 

8) You've Never Met His Friends Or Has No Plans Of Meeting His Parents

If a dude is into you, he'll be excited to introduce you to his friends and show you off. If he's a player, he obviously doesn't need his friends getting attached to you or anything like that. And he doesn't need to risk bringing you around only to have them say something they shouldn't. If you haven't met them yet, ask if you can. If he avoids it like the plague, you'll know something is up. I know that probably meeting his parents could be a big move but if a guy is serious about you, he would want you to meet his closest people around him, that's right - his family. For those of you who have just started out in a relationship, of course it could be a little nerve shocking if he wants to take you to see his parents and family members but if he has a solid plan for that in the near future and follows that, then he's a keeper. 

9) He Disappears For Days And Is Unreachable All The Time

When your guy is MIA, especially on the weekends, and reappears with no explanation as if nothing is wrong, don't give him the benefit of the doubt. He's more than a magician. He's a professional juggler and quite simply, a player.

So, here are some pointers for you women out there to spot players (which i know are extremely vast in numbers these days...just as the same as gold-diggers). It may not be a "complete-text-book" guide but I'm sure you ladies can figure the rest out. And i believe one very simple rule since I'm an active financial trader myself, and it goes: "SUPPLY & DEMAND"

Simply said here is that, if you supply (yourself) to the increasingly demand of players and cheaters, then there will definitely be more demand. Hence, to fight this (at least at your end), do not supply to this demand. If the guy is a known player/has a wife/has a girlfriend, end or stop it without a doubt even if he is charming, handsome, rich...etc..coz that's what they are..a predator wearing a mask. 

Are you dating a GOLD DIGGER?

I found this really serious these days and i believe it's a good read up to my fellow men. It's not that we men do not want to be a gentlemen (yes, i do know there are men who are assholes out there but that's another case altogether.) but i believe we need to sieve out the good ones from the very vastly common ones now..the gold-diggers. 

In this face-paced, modern era, attractive ladies are in every corner. Due to the existence of them, you’re bound to come across a gold-digging whore. Granted, most ladies are concerned about your financial stability because they don’t want to waste their time with a slacker who is going to ruin their good credit score.

The difference between being financially concerned and a gold-digger is that a gold-digger wants you to provide for them financially, and would ultimately leave you if you lost this ability. They will bleed you dry and then move onto their next victim. So how do you discern if your lady friend is looking for a future with you, or your wallet? Here are some key signs to look for in a gold-digger.

Sizing Up your Assets

The crux of every gold-digger is the question – how much are you worth? If in the first 5 minutes of your conversation, she has already inquired about your profession, your apartment, your car and your family heritage — you have found yourself a classic gold-digger.


Don’t be fooled into thinking that you’ve finally found yourself someone who is genuinely interested in your life – we all know that no woman can go 10 entire minutes without talking about herself. Gold-diggers pretend to be interested in you so they can size you up and measure your earnings potential – they’re a walking, talking calculator as every question that relates to money is being used to calculate exactly how much money she can swindle out of you.

Pay before you Play

You’ve been on countless dates with her, yet she still won’t let it progress further than kissing. No matter how many times you attempt to redirect her head south, she won’t suck your cock, let alone welcome a friendly motorboat on those D cups.

What gives? Real gold-diggers won’t engage in any kind of physical activity unless given an incentive. You want a blowjob? Get ready to max out your credit card with jewelry, shoes or a new designer handbag.


The ‘pay before you play’ policy ensures you both get what you want – at a price. Gold-diggers are essentially glorified hookers, yet with no guarantee of skill level. You might as well invest your money with a professional.

Personal ATM

Some gold-diggers will blatantly ask for gifts, using techniques like sulking or nagging until they get what they want. Others are quick to drop hints about their dire financial situation – how they can’t afford their rent, cell phone bill or car insurance. Yet – she is strutting around in a $4,000 Chanel bag and Manolos.

They will often position the financial assistance as a loan until things get better, despite the fact that there are no indications of them being financially dependent, as most gold-diggers don’t work. How can they when swindling money from suckers like yourself is already a 24/7 job?


Need to be Scene

Gold-diggers only want to be taken to expensive, scene-y establishments and will turn their plastic noses up at any restaurant without at least one Michelin star. This is confusing since you know she grew up in a trailer park, so where did this appetite for luxury come from? When they visit these establishments, don’t think that they’ll be purely focused on you – they’re constantly on the prowl for someone richer than you to see what they can offer her.

Don’t even think about introducing the bitch to your boss – she’ll be sucking his cock in the bathroom in no time.

Overcoming Impulsiveness In 3 Ways

I was asked on how i maintained calm at all times during trading hours and to trade without feeling agitated, impulsiveness, fear, greed..basically, emotionless. Sounds impossible and hard to believe right? Actually, i would be lying if i said it's easy to achieve that. The truth is, it's a super extremely no-words-can-describe tough job to do..but i did not say it's impossible.

Maintaining calm for me is super essential during trading as when i trade financial markets, these "emotions" can destroy me in a glimpse of an eye. As a matter of fact, it can destroy anyone in any aspect (not only trading but in any daily routine) if we let these little "emotion monsters" of impulsiveness get the better of that person.

Rushing into action can be taken as a proactive attitude towards everything in life. It always feels good to accomplish something. Conversely, procrastinating can be viewed as unproductive and inefficient approach, if it is ever called approach at all. Dilly-dallying has gotten a bad press from all sides in our fast-paced world.

Action gets positive reinforcement. Movement is seen as progress. "Nothing is happening," is a statement that everyone avoids to hear. We are all programmed to always long for a change regardless of the nature of it. When we hear our kids say, "I'm bored," we, by default, look for ways to stimulate our children for fear of repeating those dreaded words.

The world's technological advancement gives us all the more reason to rush into things. It is easy to be impulsive in this state where we have so many options and so many tools to fulfill our desires. It is no wonder that we find ourselves in situations that we cannot seem to control the flow of our desires. We just want to keep on executing actions without proper consideration. This results into consequences that we never really thought about or expected- mostly detrimental results.

I found three simple ways that anyone can start practicing to reduce the hold of impulsive behavior over you. It may or may not work on different individuals but it's always worth a try. Afterall, there isn't one medicine that fits all as it all depends on the individuals will and perseverance to change. so, here they are:

1) Delay Gratification

Instead of charging full blast into a decision, say wolfing down a slice of flourless chocolate cake, postpone the decision. Do not take any action. Leave the slice of cake and do something else. Give yourself a deadline as to when you can actually sit down and enjoy the cake. The longer time you postpone it, the better. Sometimes, after a while you forget about it which is good because this builds your confidence level on your sense of control. As much as possible, delay your gratification. Reduce the situations where you want to gratify yourself. Train your body to not look for these gratifications.

2) Distract Yourself by Changing Your Habits

We hear our gym or health club instructors say to not allow our muscles to get used to the same routines. Likewise, there is always a pattern in impulsive behavior. Think of which things you are impulsive towards all the time. It may be towards certain things like food, shopping items, ideas. Scrutinize the reasons why you like these things. Then, start confusing your belief system by totally changing your habit patterns. Instead of hitting the malls because you are a shopaholic, rent a good movie instead. Or start connecting with a long-lost friend instead of feasting on a pint of ice cream. The idea is to change your usual routine into something totally different, but harmless.

3) Increase Your Pain Threshold

All of the above suggestions would be painful if practiced. It will be difficult. You will go through states of doubt and certainty. Learn to be comfortable with the obscurity of the experience. Sometimes, you will feel a great longing for your old life, but stay put. There will be times that the yearning is so strong, but remember that it is just as far as it is. Let it be until it simmers down. These quasi-painful roller-coaster feelings will only expand your endurance in the midst of a great trial. When you go through the same condition next time, you know what to do.

The best advice, really, is to go the opposite way of where your impulsivity leads you to go. If you continue the journey, you will be led to a place beyond your wildest imagination. You will discover aspects of yourselves you have never seen before. Good luck! I am rooting for you.

Give it a try people! :)

6 Things My Mom Taught Me About Respecting Women

1. “That’s someone’s daughter.”

This is something I will always hold dear to my heart. My father has a great way of putting things into perspective for me. He made me realize that every girl in this world is not only someone’s daughter, but also a child of God. I should always treat women the same way I would hope someone to treat my future daughter.

2. “Walk her to the door.”

Chivalry 101. Walk your lady to her door, and then make sure she gets inside safe before you leave. From a very young age I remember both my father and grandfather drilling this into my brain. I guess you can say our family has always strived to be chivalrous, thoughtful, and kind. But while this may just seem like a silly gesture, the act can really showcase the honor and respect you have for a woman.

3. “Offer your coat when it’s cold.”

Sacrifice is key when it comes to any relationship. I learned this from watching the men in my family live this out on a daily basis. When it’s cold, offer your coat. When it’s hot, offer to buy a drink. When it’s raining, find anything you can to keep her hair from getting wet.

4. “Open the car door.”

Another class from chivalry 101. It’s a simple act of kindness that shows any woman that you are thinking of her before yourself. If you have a motorcycle, pretend to open a car door for effect.

5. “Respect her parents wishes.”

No matter how crazy or loud, I encourage you to respect a woman’s parents to the highest degree. This might be tough for some of you, but I promise it will score you major points with both the family and your lady. The last thing you want is to be in a relationship with someone who’s parents do not like you. Do all you can to show them respect, even if it kills you.

6. “Make her feel protected and safe.”

I know that not everyone is as buff as me (obviously joking), but there is still hope for anyone who is looking to make their lady feel protected an safe. You don’t need to have muscles on top of your muscles to make your lady feel protected. Just show that you are willing to do whatever it takes to protect her, her belongings, and your relationship

Is it yourself? or was it engraved by others..

This is not new. How many of you are there, thinking of doing something that you really want to do but you were stopped by:

1) your own fear
2) your own mind
3) other people telling you, you can't do it
4) people heckling you that it's dumb of you to do it

I've encountered all of them. I feared so much to do what i'm passionate about is because i have commitments. I mean, WHO DOESN'T? Parents, gf, car, dog, cat and etc...(please fill up the rest if i missed them out). But are you going to let them stop you from what you really want to do? For the first two points, (points 1 and 2 above) these are the obstacles that one will encounter. I put them top 2 because those, are the ones you have to beat first and they are normally the toughest. Many people fear that if they drop what they are doing now, and are afraid that if they did not make it on what they are passionate in, they are stuck in the middle. I don't deny that it may or most likely WILL happen. It has happened to me many many times within this 10 months that i'm self-employed. Some can be even spirit breaking, exhausting and stress.

However, let me stress one thing here. Your mind controls your body and hence controls your actions. If you say that, "i can't do it, it's just insanely difficult and there is no guarantee of making it". By saying that, you have given up almost entirely on your dream/passion. Now, do you see it? Nobody did anything to you. YOU just defeated yourself even before you can even start it. Hence, if you say u can't do it, most likely you are definitely not likely to be able to make it because you already set your mind that you won't be able to make it. In the movie "The Secret", they stressed on being positive is because your mind is the attraction of what you think. So, if you have positive thinking, you will attract positive results and the opposite results for the negative thinking. So, that's battle lost straight up even before starting doing anything. Ask yourself this, is that what you really want? To defeat yourself?

Points 3) and 4) are also very typical. I'm pretty sure that you have someone telling you that "It's tough" or "It's impossible for you" or "you can't make it, you're out of your league". Normally, i'll just show a middle finger to these people but nah, why waste my energy right? :). You see, there is a reason for everything and the reason why people do this, is probably that they themselves have not tried it and heard bad things about it OR they couldn't do it themselves and they want to pull you down to the same level as they are. It's plain simple. Even family members (mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin, ah ma...and etc..) will do the same. They are definitely not excluded in this. If you have read my very first post in this blog, i mentioned my mom was one of the biggest demotivator in what i am currently pursuing. She says it's risky, dangerous and will lose everything and she started bringing out failed cases of some family members, friends and friend's children and etc. I don't deny the dangers are there, but it's just like driving an F1 car. You need to have a special license to drive an F1 car before you can even drive it. If you're just getting a normal car license and you drive an F1 car, most likely than not, you'll probably crash and may cost you your life. Same thing here, it's risky to do business, risky to invest, risky to etc....it's risky, if you DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR ARE DOING. Same thing like the F1 car, your normal driving license teaches you the normal standard cars driving method with the clutch and gear and so on. F1 cars have gears on the steering wheel and it is a much x1000000000 more powerful car than what you get outside. So, if you don't even know where the clutch is for an F1 car, what do you think you will get? That's right...CRASH! So, what i'm trying to say here is, if you do not have education on it, of course you will lose but if you're well equipped with the knowledge and the skills, then risks are eliminated. What more, maybe you can even control it to your liking.

Now, humans are people with full of emotions and one very common emotion one will have is JEALOUSY. They may see you doing something that they like too but they can't do it themselves and they do not like it that you are proceeding with what they like, they start spreading stupid stories on you or maybe on what you're doing. If you get affected by that, you've lost. I've turned all these negative stories on what i'm doing now from other people into fuel for motivation. And boy, was it good. I've been told by one friend that "just stick to tennis and girls". Of course i felt pissed, afterall i'm only human but what i did was i took his words, put it under "fuel-for-motivation" in my mind and boy, it worked out good. It won't be easy but trust me on this, if you are able to do it, you will see super mind bogging results on this. In the movie "The pursuit for happyness" which was acted by Will Smith and his son, there was a part where his son was just playing around with the basket ball near his rented apartment. His son said "i'm going pro dad! i'm going pro!". Will Smith answered his son "well, you know, when i was a kid i was just average in this. So, you'll probably be the same like me. I don't want you to just go around shooting basketball into the net, alright?". His son felt disappointed but agreed reluctantly. Will Smith saw the disappointed face in his son and said "Hey, don't ever let anybody tell you...you can't do something alright? Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period!"

That's exactly it. Never let anybody tell you you can't do it because this is your own dream. You control whether it will make it or not. Not them. Presevere, don't quit, don't give up no matter how beaten down you are in pursuing your passion/dream. You will fall many many many times before you reach there. I know, coz i fell many times and sometimes takes a while to recover.

So, you've got a passion, just go for it. Don't let points 1,2,3 and 4 stop you. But points 1 and 2 are the hardest as it comes from your own goodself. Beat that and then you have to fight points 3 and 4 from the outside but that would be easier compared to points 1 and 2.

You only live once (YOLO). Give yourself a chance and go for it! :)

A General and the presumably losing army

Well, i was told a story by a friend of mine some time back and i feel that i will be using that for my life to be in future...I am not sure about you others but, i believe it goes for everyone too. The story goes..

"In one of the histories of China, there were two sides of armies. One of them was the attacker but with lesser men in it. The other was the defender who had more men, better ground advantage and what's best, they are IN the castle. The attacking side, seeing that they are greatly disadvantaged with a river to cross, high strong walls to break through and men outnumbered but 1:3, were greatly demoralized. Some of them could not even eat nor sleep properly thinking of that disadvantage and soon, it grew into fear that spread around the army like a virus.

The general of the army saw this..and gathered all his men the night before the attack. With all his men lined up in formation and all waiting for the general to speak, mostly quivered and expected the worst. Then the general spoke with a strong clear voice:

"Forget the food that you're holding at your hand, you know that's crap! Forget the tents that you build for you know they are leaking and still makes you cold in the night! Forget the clothes you're wearing, for they will not protect nor keep you warm also!..Tomorrow, we will attack them! And we will win! And we will eat their best food, live in their big castle and also wear their best clothes! Don't fix your mind on what you currently have and use that to live for that will wear down or deplete and you will die a more torturous death than the enemies sword! We will attack them and we will win!"

His armies roared and it was so loud, it kept their enemies shaking even inside the castle..The next morning, they crossed that big river, attacked and they won....

I knew what my friend wanted to tell me right away....

Moral of the story/what my friend meant was:
"forget the thought of what you have, salary (for we all know it's never enough), places we stay (rented rooms, small apartments...sounds familiar?) or clothes/lifestyles that we have now..for we all know that will wear out...do something that you really want and put your head up high for that...even if the odds are greatly against you.."

10 Women A Man Shouldn’t Marry

Now here is something interesting which i came through. 

1. The Late Night Texter
You know, the girl who only texts you after midnight. She’s the girl who only contacts you when she wants something, or someone to talk to. You can go weeks without hearing from this person, only to rarely get a text full of smiley faces and a message that reads, “Hey! How are you?” They aren’t consistent. Don’t fall into the trap.

2. The Gold-digger
She’s the woman who loves your wallet, bank account, and credit cards. Be sure to stay away from a woman who is only interested in material things, and how much of these things your salary can buy her.

3. The Flirt
This woman loves to flirt with strangers, waiters, and even your friends. The woman you should seek is one who flirts with you and only you, no matter the circumstance. That last thing you want is to be married to someone who will deliberately flirt with people in front or you, let alone behind your back.

4. The Liar
Don’t trust a woman who is constantly lying to you. If you continue to ignore her inconsistencies, she could eventually do something detrimental to your relationship.

5. The Flake
This is the woman who calls off dates, constantly changes plans and never shows up when she promised she would. If you think this will change once you’re married, you’re wrong. A flakey woman will never put her man first.

6. The Partier
Stay away from her. Although she may seem as a fun and outgoing, I guarantee you will be better off with someone who stays away from gatherings full of bad mistakes and regretful decisions. The lifestyle of a partier never fits well with the maturity that is needed in marriage.

7. The Quick To Judge
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I would encourage you to stay away from the woman who constantly throws judgments at others. This is a bad habit that is not only frowned upon, but it will also hinder you from finding any type of outside friendships. Let Judge Judy stay a TV show. Don’t marry her.

8. The Immodest Dresser
The last think you want to do is marry someone who put’s their body on display for the rest of the world to see. Without going into too much detail, I would encourage you to marry someone who respects their body enough to keep it covered and modest.

9. The Negative Nancy

She’s the woman who can find something negative in just about anything. And although there is nothing wrong with being a little skeptical, living life with someone who is constantly negative will definitely put a damper on your relationship. It’s not worth it.

10. The Cheater
I’m all for grace and second chances, but the last thing you want is to find yourself in a marriage with someone you can’t even trust. I’m a huge believe that everyone can change, but please don’t get caught up in the lie that cheating is just normal part of life. You deserve better.